CUSTOMS OF THE WEDDING CELEBRATION

The American wedding ritual is a mosaic of customs from many cultures and ages.  People often find themselves puzzled by some of the obscure practices and terms associated with nuptials.  Denney Jewelers now present to you the key to some of these mysterious holdovers from the distant past.

Aisle:  The traditional walk down the aisle has many precedents.  Long ago the bride was hidden in a procession on the way to her groom to confuse lustful raiders. The procession was also a way of showing the village, and the groom's parents the extent of the bride's wealth and worth.  In Greek Orthodoxy, brides are queen for the day and, given appropriate pomp and circumstance.

Best man: In more primitive times, he was the best warrior in the tribe, ready to help the groom protect the bride and fend off would-be kidnappers.

Borrowed: from "something borrowed and something blue." The bride borrows something from a happily married woman, who thereby lends her happiness to the new union.  Blue symbolizes fidelity and hope.

Bouquet: To the Greeks and the Romans, the bouquet was a pungent mix of garlic with other herbs and some grains.  The garlic was to keep evil spirits at bay, the herbs and grains were employed to insure a fruitful union.  Victorians took the Romans custom of sweet smelling flower wreaths and applied them to the bouquet.  Throwing the bouquet containing a small ring is a 19th century custom.  The maid who caught it then was said to be the next to marry.

Bridal: In all the teutonic languages, the word "bride" stood for the new wife, and "bridal" came from the brides ale, which stood for the bride's feast.

Cake: The Greeks and Romans believed that the joint partaking of cake, created a magic bond.  The sweetness and grain foretold of a happy and fruitful union.

Dowry:  From "endow" meaning to provide for.  When brides were sold as "chattel", (like cattle) as part of the fathers goods, she needed some assets to make the match worth while to the groom.  In some cultures the dowry became the grooms, but in others, the bride retained possession, always guaranteeing her some resources of her own.

The Engagement Ring:  The shape of the ring was the Egyptian symbol for eternity, signifying a lifetime commitment.A plain hoop of iron was the fore-runner of today's engagement ring.  The Roman tradition was to give a ring, a symbol of the cycle of life and eternity, as a public pledge that the marriage contract between a man and a woman would be honored.  In Pliny's time (23-79 AD) the ring was made of iron.  Gold was introduced after the 2nd century AD.  The Christians adopted this custom, and the ring became an integral part of the wedding tradition.  In the 15th century the symbolism of a ring - signifying eternity - was strengthened by the symbol of conjugal fidelity ... the diamond.  Only men of nobility were allowed to wear diamonds before the l5th century, when Archduke Maximilian broke with tradition and offered his betrothed, a diamond engagement ring.

Two torches in one ring of burning fire. 
Two wills, two hearts, two passions.
are bonded in marriage by a diamond.
the marriage of Constanzo Sforza and Camilla D'Aragona, 1475

Engagement:  From the French word engager, meaning to bind by a pledge.  The first engagements were financial transactions and binding contracts.  To be engaged now is a pledge of love, rather than money.  In some cultures engagement is still considered binding legal contracts.

Fiancee: From the french "to betroth" or from Old French "to trust" your fiance is your trusty betrothed.

Flowers:  Since early Roman times, flowers have heralded the sweetness of the nuptial union.  Our predecessors were particularly careful to choose the most fragrant flowers to use as wreaths for the bride.

Throwing the Garter:  Derived from the British ritual called "flinging the stocking."  This tradition allowed guests to enter the bridal chamber and seize the bride's stockings.  The first person to land the stocking on the nose of the bride or groom would be the next to marry.

Groom: from the Old German "guma" or man.  The illiterate masses mistook the two words and the corrupted version stuck.  The groom is simply the best brides man.

Honeymoon:  In the days of old, women were scarce and expensive. Men without money often wanted wives they could not afford to buy.  They simply abducted the women of their choice and hid out for one month, or one moon, drinking mead and ale made with fermented honey.

Ivy:  This vine symbolizes matrimony, fidelity, and friendship. the three essentials for wedded bliss.

Kiss:  The first embrace of the newly weds as husband and wife had a special significance even for primitive societies.  They believed that the couple exchanged spirits with their breath and that a part of each ones soul left to live in the other.

Love: It hasn't always been catalyst for marriage.  Until the l9th century, money or convenience were more acceptable reasons for marriage and love was often the cause for tragedy--witness Tristan and Isolde of Abelard and Juliet. But the Victorians and especially Queen Victoria, whose love for her Albert is legendary, helped change the course of marriage by making love the tie that binds.

Marry:  From the Latin word maritus, meaning husband.  Marital originally described a wife or anything else belonging to the husband.  The Latin "Nuptial" means belonging to a marriage and derived from a word which translates as "to veil".

Orange Blossoms: For over 700 years, these flowers have been most closely associated with the bride because of their ability to flower and bear fruit at the same time. These blossoms are a potent symbol of their beauty and fruitfulness together, the perfect wife.

Reception:  The reception has an interesting provenance.  Naturally there has always been feasting at a wedding.  Long ago when the bride and groom came from warring tribes, the two factions were kept apart to prevent bloodshed before they were joined as one family by the couples union.  This is why the bride's and groom's families are kept on opposite sides of the church.  And the reception, or post-nuptial feast, was the first time the two tribes could be brought safely together.

Rice:  In the Roman tradition, rice and other grains were given to the bride to carry or wear to symbolize a productive marriage and many children.

Threshold:  Carrying the bride across the threshold comes to us courtesy of the Roman virgin goddess Vesta, guardian of the hearth.  A woman about to give up her virginity would insult the goddess if she touched the threshold, so to avert any possibility of such a mishap, the groom gallantly carried the bride across.

Veil:  Of all the bridal attire, this one is the most veiled in mystic ritual.  The first veiling may have been sacks or material used to subdue captured women.  Later the veiling was gift wrapping, as the bride was presented to the highest bidder.  It was a token of submission, and acceptance of a new identity and the death of the old. Again the veil was sometimes to screen the bride from abductors, as she was hidden among her similarly clothed bridesmaids, who closed ranks around her.  But a later, more romantic interpretation of the veil is that concealment has always rendered what was hidden more valuable.  On the other hand, the Greeks Romans, and early Christians all considered the veil to be a symbol of youth and virginity

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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